Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
