Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
