i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
