My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
