yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize