Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
