It's Friday. Sex?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
