no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
