does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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