No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
