Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
