Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
