I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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