I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
