the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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