so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
