i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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