im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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