I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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