stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
