I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
