I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
