New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
