i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
