I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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