just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
