Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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