She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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