Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
