Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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