I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
