Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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