OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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