just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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