I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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