The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
