did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
