I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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