You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
