We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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