I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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