6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
