i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
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He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
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k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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