then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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