yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dignity is for republicans.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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