At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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