garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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