if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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