we have pet lesbian snakes
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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