And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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