Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
