Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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