I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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