wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
