O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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