Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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