Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
