3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
