At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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