Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
