i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Terrible idea I love it
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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