This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
