Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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