How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
