you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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