ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
